My Love, My Kiss, My Heart

Each day is like a year, my heart keeps sinking
Because I keep finding traces of you, many days now

It's been mere weeks since it happened. Up till then, Cho Kyuhyun and Lee Sungmin had lived together under one roof as house-mates. They were each other's best friends. They were each other's enemies. But most importantly, they were each other's lovers. They both loved each other will all their heart, mind, and soul.

Sungmin was a composer, and Kyuhyun's a singer. They both worked at a cafe nearby as entertainers. Sungmin would write their songs and Kyuhyun would sing them along with the piano accompaniment of his one true love. Music was both their passions, something that brought the two closer. They knew nothing would separate them because they've promised each other that they'll be together forever.

But now, everything's changed. Before, Kyuhyun wakes up to the beautiful trilling of piano keys from the living room area where the mini grand piano they owned was placed. Now, he woke up to the cold silence of their shared apartment. Every day Kyuhyun glances over to the white piano, painful memories of his past flooded his mind, blocking all rational thoughts and leaving him as a mess.

They are like grains of sand trying to force down a spoonful of rice
Without you, my day has stopped

Kyuhyun still remember the day it happened. He and Sungmin were working the night shift at the cafe, enjoying each other's presence as well as the customers. Sungmin left early because he needed to pick up his guitar from the repair shop, and even though Kyuhyun offered his assistance, Sungmin refused, stating that it was his guitar which means it was his responsibility. He promised that he'll see Kyuhyun back at their apartment and after a little pinky swear and a kiss, Sungmin walked out of the cafe doors. Kyuhyun watched him leave, smiling back when his love turned his head to say his final farewell.

About an hour later, when Kyuhyun was taking a break in the employee's room with his fellow worker Donghae, he received a call from an unknown number. He normally doesn't pick up calls from strangers, but something in the back of his mind made him press the answer button. "Hello?"

"Hello? Is this Cho Kyuhyun?"

"Yes it is," he replied, shrugging when Donghae asked who the call was from. "Who is this?"

"This is from Downtown Seoul Hospital." That alarmed Kyuhyun. He mouthed the words to Donghae who immediately straightened his back in full attention.

"What's the problem?" Kyuhyun asked. It's been a while since he's gone to the hospital for anything; he's a healthy guy, thanks to Sungmin who watches what he eats and what he does like a hawk.

"We believe you know Lee Sungmin, is this correct?"

Kyuhyun's eyes widened in fear. "Yes I do. Is something wrong with him?" Kyuhyun inquired as he glanced at Donghae.

"Sungmin-sshi was involved in an accident. We require you to come to the hospital –" The words to the rest of the sentence dissipated into nothing as everything stopped for Kyuhyun.

My love, my kiss, my heart
I will bury it all deep within my heart
One love, one kiss, to my heart
I will forget it all, I will erase it all

"You have to let me leave, Leeteuk-hyung. Please," Kyuhyun begged. "I know my shift isn't done yet, but I'll somehow make this up. This is an emergency."

After Kyuhyun absently hung up the call, Donghae prodded him with questions in which none were answered. He was still trying to process everything, but after the fifth "Kyuhyun-ah, what happened?" Kyuhyun snapped out of his trance and ran for Leeteuk's office. His boss was in the middle of a phone call, but when he saw one of his workers barging in looking like he will die if he didn't talk to him, Leeteuk politely ended the call and hung up. Minutes later was filled with Kyuhyun's frantic voice asking, begging, to let him leave his shift early. "Why would I let you, Kyuhyun?" Leeteuk asked.

"It's Sungmin," the younger one replied before launching into the story of how Sungmin left after his shift and the phone call from the hospital. "Please, Teukkie-hyung, please, I beg you."

Leeteuk picked up the phone and dialed a number, rummaging through one of the drawers as he did so. "Hello, Kangin-ah? Yes, it's Leeteuk. I'm fine, but I have to make this quick. I'm lending my car to one of my employees because he needs to get to the hospital downtown quick. Tell the other officers my license number so he won't be ticketed for speeding," Leeteuk explained, tossing his car keys to Kyuhyun who caught it in mid-air. "If you can get a police escort, it would be even better, but I don't think you'll have time for that. Really? Like now? Alright, thank you. Yeah, I will. I will. I'll see you later," he said, hanging up. "Kyuhyun, take my car. I know you don't have one and I'm not going to let you run all the way downtown. My friend Kangin will be driving in front of you because I know this is important."

Kyuhyun only stared at his hyung and the car keys, not really making any coherent thoughts.

"Well, what are you waiting for? Go!" Leeteuk exclaimed. Kyuhyun ran out of the cafe like his life depended on it.

Because it did.

The ringing beats of my heart are like a lie, even this pain
Like smudged words
We have faded, we have been erased

Kyuhyun was glad that his hyung owned a sports car. He jumped in, revved and sped off towards downtown Seoul. He drove as fast as he could while heeding to the traffic signs, but he could only handle it up to a point. His foot continued pressing down on the accelerator, throwing all things out the window as he ran a red light. The sound of a police sirene up ahead made him slow down, but to his surprise, the police car didn't tail him; it sped up and got in front of him, clearing the road from other cars. Kyuhyun noted in his mind to thank Leeteuk for making that phone call to the station.

With an escort at high speed, Kyuhyun reached the hospital in half the time it normally required. He flew out of the car and into the hospital building through the emergency room, immediately running to the reception desk. "Where's Lee Sungmin!?" he nearly screamed.

"Are you Cho Kyuhyun?" the lady behind the counter asked.

"Yes, I am, now where is my boyfriend!?"

The lady was obviously taken aback from this statement. "Excuse me?"

"Are we really going to have this stupid talk!?" Kyuhyun bellowed. "He's my boyfriend, I'm his boyfriend. So what!? It won't do anything, so I demand you to tell me where he is before I jump over the counter and force it out of your mouth!?"

The lady blinked a couple of times before regaining her composure. "Sungmin-sshi is in the operating room right now. Please wait in the waiting area. When the doctors are done, depending on his condition, we'll bring you to his room."

The rest of the world is the same
But if I look around, you aren't there
Losing you, losing everything,
Is something that can't be turned around

For Kyuhyun, the wait was agonizing. Seconds felt like minutes, minutes like hours, hours like days. The clock whirled on its silent gears, and before long, it's past midnight. Kyuhyun only ate a small dinner, and that was before he started his shift back around 7:30. As much as his stomach yearned for food, Kyuhyun couldn't bring himself to walk out of the waiting area to get something from the hospital cafeteria or the vending machines. He watched as people, doctors, patients and visitors walk by, paying no heed to anything in particular. Before long, he fell asleep because his brain and mental self were tired of thinking.

Something shook his shoulders and Kyuhyun woke up with a jolt, saying Sungmin's name when he did so. He glanced around and remembered what happened the past couple of hours before and started panicking. "Where's Sungmin? Can I see him?"

"Calm down, Kyuhyun-sshi," the lady who woke him up said. "Sungmin-sshi is out of the operating room, but he's still in critical condition."

That just aggravated Kyuhyun even more. "Can I see him or not?"

"Yes, although you can only see him through the glass," she replied, leading Kyuhyun to Sungmin's room.

Several rooms and a couple of hallways later, the pair arrived. The lady didn't say anything as she left Kyuhyun, who could only stare in shock at the view before him.
Lee Sungmin – the love of his life, the one he cherishes the most, the one he'd risk his life for – was broken. Literally. Cuts and bruises decorated his beautiful face, his arm was in a cast, bandages were wrapped around his torso, and, if Kyuhyun squinted hard enough, Sungmin donned quite a few stitches. Tubes and wires were connected to various parts of his body; some used to monitor his heart, some used to help him breathe, some to monitor his lungs. A doctor was inside the room, checking over the broken body, making sure everything is supposed to be the way it is.

All Kyuhyun could do was watch.

After a while, the doctor walked out of the room. Almost immediately, he was barged with questions courtesy of the panicked lover.

"What happened?" Kyuhyun asked. "Will he be okay? How is he now? What will happen to him? How-"

"Calm down, Kyuhyun-sshi," the doctor replied. "Sungmin-sshi was crashed by a drunk driver. The car was going pretty fast and didn't see the red light. Sungmin-sshi was originally to be treated at the hospital closer to the crashsite, but he needed more extensive work on his injuries."

"How are his injuries?"

"His arm was broken, and several ribs were broken. He received many cuts, some of which we had to stich up. Most of the wound didn't get any glass shards, but there were some that did..."

"And?" Kyuhyun pressed. He knew the doctor was leaving something behind.

"And..." the doctor breathed out, "If he moves too much too soon, his broken ribs will puncture his lungs."

Kyuhyun's eyes widened in terror. "Isn't there something you can do about that!?"

The doctor shook his head. "After his x-ray, we can't do anything with it. Broken ribs are healed without the help of a cast, so he must not move too much. When he wakes up, he will feel pain on his chest from time to time until the ribs heal itself." The doctor checked the papers on the clipboard, "If all goes well and his vitals stay stable, he should be out within a month or two, but it depends."

"Depends on what?"

"When the car hit him, he protected his sides with his arm, that's why it was broken along with his ribs," the doctor explained. "But the impact to the head that he received when he fell to the concrete shocked his brain."

"No..." Kyuhyun whispered.

"I'm sorry, Kyuhyun-sshi," the doctor replied. "Sungmin-sshi is in a coma, and we don't know when he'll wake up."

My love, my kiss, my heart
I will bury it all deep within my heart
One love, one kiss, to my heart
I will forget it all, I will erase it all

Kyuhyun waited. He waited and waited. Donghae visited a couple of times, sometimes with Leeteuk, sometimes alone. He let Kyuhyun lean on him as the younger of the two let the tears he's been holding pour out as he quietly stroked his back. They both couldn't do much; time was the only one that could tell the story.

After the initial shock, Kyuhyun made it a routine to visit the hospital. After a couple of weeks, Sungmin was deemed ready to leave the ICU, but he was still under watch of the doctors for he still hasn't woken up from his coma. Kyuhyun stayed by his side as often as he possibly could. Sungmin may still be in the hospital, but he still needed to work. He told Leeteuk he'd cover Sungmin's shift until he was out of the hospital. Reluctantly - and hesitantly - the elder agreed.

Every day Kyuhyun was at the hospital, he'd silently sing to his broken love, praying that Sungmin would open his eyes. It was always only the two of them whenever the melancholy notes streamed out of the singer's mouth. Nothing accompanied Kyuhyun's sad ballad, only the constant beeping of the heart monitor and the silent, raspy breathing of Sungmin's broken body. Kyuhyun would hold Sungmin's hand every minute he spent at the hospital, his warm, trembling fingers wrapped around Sungmin's cold, lifeless ones. He'd kiss the back of Sungmin's palm, muttering I love you and silently pleading for his love to finally open his lids and look back at him with those warm brown eyes he's missed so dearly.

Sometimes, Kyuhyun would fall asleep with Sungmin's hand clasped under his. The nurse who comes by every so often to check on her patient would drape a blanket around his sleeping figure as she did the routine checks. Every time Kyuhyun wakes up from his restless nap, he wished he'd wake up to Sungmin's smiling face. He wished that all this was a bad dream. He wished to hear Sungmin call out his name once more. Kyuhyun would wake up wishing it was him on the hospital bed instead of Sungmin.

On one of his visits, Kyuhyun was singing silently to his love. He was exhausted from the day before because Leeteuk unexpectedly asked him to cover Donghae's shift because he had to leave early. Donghae promised that he'll make it up to both Kyuhyun and Leeteuk somehow.

Kyuhyun was drifting off to sleep because he never got any from the night before. Just before he rested his head next to his hand that's clasped around Sungmin's, he felt his hand being squeezed weakly. It was very faint and small, but it threw Kyuhyun's entire plan of sleeping out the window as he called out to Sungmin. He called him by his full name, nickname, everything. Even the embarrassing ones, but no one cared at that point.

The first thing that slipped out of Sungmin's chapped lips after he finally cracked open his eyes was Kyuhyun's name.

Kyuhyun nearly tackled the broken figure.

Only the shattered pieces of memories are pierced in me
Deep in my heart, deep in my heart, deep in my heart
Your tear stained face haunts me and revolves around my head
You, who took my everything

Sungmin has been conscious for almost a week and a half, but they still kept a close watch on him due to his injuries. Kyuhyun visited more often, sometimes bringing Leeteuk or Donghae along. Sungmin couldn't move much due to his ribs - they were still broken, and a more recent x-ray showed that there was still a possibility of it puncturing his lungs, so taking deep breaths hurt his chest and laughing hurt his sides - but he was awake, and that's all that matters. His voice was still raspy because of the lack of use, but he's slowly regaining the former tone.

Kyuhyun would still sing to both of them. With the help of the painkillers, which were sadly not non-drowsy, Kyuhyun's gentle voice would lull Sungmin to sleep. This time though, Kyuhyun knows Sungmin would open those eyes again, so he wasn't so worried.

Last love, last kiss, last dream
My heart that only knows you, only remembers you

There were a couple of times when Kyuhyun would visit when Sungmin was asleep. Kyuhyun would merely take his place on the chair next to his bed and waited patiently until he wakes.

That day was one of those days; Kyuhyun was making his way to Sungmin's room with a light spring on his steps and a small, content smile on his face. His smile was about to be wider when he looked through the glass into the room, but instead it fell.

Kyuhyun stood rooted in place as he watched Sungmin writhe and scream. His eyes were closed, so that meant he was having a nightmare. But Sungmin was thrashing wildly, Kyuhyun was surprised the pain on his chest hadn't wake him up.

That was when Kyuhyun realized that he forgot the fact that Sungmin's broken ribs were still fatal if he moved too much.

Kyuhyun stormed in the room, shaking Sungmin till he opened his eyes. When he did, Kyuhyun smiled, but it was quickly wiped away as Sungmin screamed in pain and clutched his side. He continued keening, desperately trying to get rid of the hurt. Kyuhyun ran out to hallway and screamed for the nurse, doctor, anyone, to help Sungmin.

Goodbye my love, my kiss
It's like it has stopped- without you

Kyuhyun nearly punched a wall while he waited for some sort of news from the doctors. After he watched with heartbreak as they wheeled Sungmin back into the operating room, the nurse took Kyuhyun the waiting area. He had called Donghae and Leeteuk, telling them about the situation and that he'll be late for his double shift. They both asked if Kyuhyun needed anything. Kyuhyun politely declined; the only thing he needed is the news that Sungmin will be fine.

Hours later, a nurse called Kyuhyun and he all but sprinted towards the desk. She took him to the doctor's office without saying a word, no matter how much Kyuhyun pestered her with questions. After a while, Kyuhyun gave up with trying to get some sort of answer from her, leaving the rest of the walk down the hospital maze in silence.

Once they arrived, the nurse let Kyuhyun in the room before leaving him with the doctor. Kyuhyun stood by the door, watching the doctor as he read some files and fill out some forms. Something within Kyuhyun snapped; he stormed accross the room and slammed his hands on the doctor's table, knocking a picture frame over. "Are you going to tell me he's fine, or do I have to force it out of your mouth?"

The doctor looked up from his papers, and that's all it took for Kyuhyun to break down sobbing in front of the man who couldn't save Sungmin's life.

My love, my kiss, my heart
I will bury it all deep within my heart
One love, one kiss, to my heart
I will forget it all, I will erase it all